Chousing

Terminus of orbis terrarum ut nos teneo is

CHOUSING

By John Galt

May 20, 2008

Ontario,CA Homeless Tent City

“Chousing”

A word of several meanings but for the purposes of one of my economic rantings and ravings it is the solution to the housing crisis that most of us have long been seeking and found to become a reality in many an urban an environment. The problem with the perpetually homeless (we called them “bums” in the old days) has been around since America was born. But the newly homeless, those losing their homes in the “contained” housing crisis are another story. The American people got a great dose of this new reality in CNN’s recent housing crisis special but that’s just a taste. The problem has been moving into communities where the crisis is most severe and this solution I propose will both provide an economic and practical solution to the housing crisis our country finds itself in.

As one might expect the photographs in this article of tent cities are exactly what America has been crying out for. During the Great Depression, we called them “Hoovervilles” where tin, cardboard and scrap wood was slapped together in vacant, often undesirable locations that were not fit for families to be raised but provided shelter from the elements that the over-extended religious community could not. There was no government safety net then and in reality that net is about as viable as using silly string to catch Wile E. Coyote and the anvil after they were dropped from 30,000 feet. The problem is that like any plan, bureaucrats are involved and as the housing crisis expands and cripples our economy they will not have the money nor capacity to deal with the problems.

St. Petersburg, FL Homeless Tent City

Chousing is not what you might think. The term for my purposes is derived from the combination of the ‘tent’ or housing unit and the nation of manufacture, China. Thus “Chousing” is the new term to describe the development and it’s only a matter of time before starving realtors, developers and banksters jump on the bandwagon who seek to expand the Chousing projects and profit from a lot of the misfortune they originally created. To help these rookies in the concept of tents, here are some models for the developers to ponder and ideas for locations.

The problem with the developments you see in the photographs above is a lack of planning. There are no neighborhood associations, no taxable city services and worse the community restroom arrangements while a cost saving feature can often result in some rather disgusting results. Alas, that’s a cross the residents will have to bear after all, since it was their fault that they didn’t invest in the stock market like Cramerica told them to and lose just 70% of their plans instead of buying homes and losing 100%.

The urban Chondominium Project (CHOP for short) could be developed with relatively low overhead and contained within a two acre complex. The abandoned and incomplete shopping centers throughout Florida provide an ideal location as the commercial developers will be in bankruptcy soon anyways and the banksters will look at an opportunity for fifteen year mortgages on tents as an opportunity to revive the subprime markets. Chondominiums will house at least two families and while the original design of the tents does not develop separate areas for multiple families, that can be accomplished with this simple “Instant Wall” for sale at the Dollar Tree or Big Lots.

Once the construction loans are complete and the local housing inspectors and appraisers bribed off, finding residents should be no problem as Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac will buy anything now (I wonder how the DHMBS is working out-Dog House Mortgage Backed Securities). After residents start to move in, noise ordinances will have to be established and all units declared no smoking zones for insurance purposes. There should be some abandoned cars nearby that will serve as great locations for smokers unless the repo man grabs them first.

Next comes the Family Assigned Residency Tents (FARTS) which will cater to single families who can afford the upgrade from the Chondominiums. FARTS will give people a taste of that half million dollar home they lost on their fifty thousand per year income without the overhead (literally) and the property tax expenses that came with it.

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